You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
