Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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