Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
