Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize