She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
