So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
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