Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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