C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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