he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
