I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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