peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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