i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Randomize
