Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
