Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize