Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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