hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
