mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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