This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize