Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Where did you get a picture of my penis
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
