if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
