I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
