No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
