i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
