I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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