I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
So many bounce houses so little time
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
