Its about making memories worth repressing
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Randomize
