Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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