There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
