I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
