Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
