after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
