drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
