Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
