worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Randomize
