Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
