grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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