Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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