She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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