So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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