my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We left the knife in your bed.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
