Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
pray to the hookup gods
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
