No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize