Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
