so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
