He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
