i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
