i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
