This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize