fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
