She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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