I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
