im about as happy as oj after his trial
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
