We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize