the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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