I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
