Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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