with your own penis?
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I checked into jail on foursquare
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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