i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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