you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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