so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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