think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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