i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
