All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
