I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
