I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
