I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
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