If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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